


lock the door, drop the key

by strawberrycupcake_huckleberrypie



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Adultery, Alternate Universe - Ben Solo Doesn't Turn to the Dark Side, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, And light to meet it, Angst, Angst and Porn, Ben and Rey Belong Together, Broken Roads Lead to Beautiful Places, Cheating, Darkness Rises indeed, Desire, Devotion, Dirty Talk, Ducks and Runs for Cover, Exactly What It Says on the Tin, F/M, Falling In Love, Filthy, Forbidden Love, Forgiveness, Gratuitous Smut, Guilty Pleasures, Happily Ever After, Hotel Sex, Hotels, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Ship It, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Imperfections, Infidelity, Internal Conflict, Love, Marriage, Mind the Tags, Mistakes, Mutual Pining, NSFW, Naughty, OTP Feels, One True Pairing, Oral Sex, Out of Character, POV Rey (Star Wars), Passion, Perfect, Porn, Porn with Feelings, Reylo - Freeform, Secret Relationship, Self-Indulgent, Sex, Shameless, Shameless Smut, Shh, Shower Sex, Smut, Soulmates, The Author Regrets Nothing, Travel, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-18 21:59:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15495558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberrycupcake_huckleberrypie/pseuds/strawberrycupcake_huckleberrypie
Summary: Two room keys, though she checked in alone, burning a hole through her palm.Dear God, two room keys.She can’t even let herself whisper his name in her mind, won’t even share the secret with herself until she’s swiped the card key, unlocked the door, heard it click behind her.*******They are good people who do bad things when they are together.





	1. Room 362

 

_“Your hands on my skin are like heroin to my heart. I swear I will get my fill of you. Even if it kills me.” - Beau Taplin_

 

**Room 362**

 

It’s cold. This cold deserves snow instead of the grey slush collecting.

The hotel foliage is brittle when she walks by, a branch reaching to poke her woolen clad shoulder as she steps inside the lobby.

She stifles a gasp, her conscience accusing her already, wondering if someone’s reached to grab her.

 

_This is a bad idea._

A dangerous idea, looming so heavily on the edge of her conscience that she’s willfully refused to address it. As she sat on the plane, as she took an Uber, as she marched to the front desk to check in and collect two room keys she shoved it down.

 

Two room keys, though she checked in alone, burning a hole through her palm.

 

_Dear God, two room keys._

 She can’t even let herself whisper his name in her mind, won’t even share the secret with herself until she’s swiped the card key, unlocked the door, heard it lock behind her. Once she’s propped her suitcase in the corner she will she let herself exhale long enough to think his name.

 

Just his name - forbidden, irresistible syllable - and her eyes finally slide shut in the sanctity of anonymous secrecy.

Pulling the curtains closed against the fading afternoon sun she shrouds the room in grey light.

Eight weeks ago, she’d been seated beside him for Thanksgiving dinner at her in-laws’ house. She’d diligently ignored him on her left, while her husband sat to her right, scooping mashed potatoes and candied yams onto his plate, drowning everything in thick, gluey gravy, oblivious to Rey as she wrestled dry, sliced turkey down her parched throat.

 

She’d been so careful to remove her fingers from the dishes she passed to her left, avoiding his hands, his eyes, his magnetic pull.

She’d given herself a headache by dinner.

 

His leg never touched hers, a careful space maintained between them making the tension somehow more profound instead of less.

 

Heat emanated anyhow.

His cologne wafted beneath her nose, overpowering the holiday trimmings on the table laid out before the whole family. Her husband good-naturedly argued politics with his conservative-leaning father, while Ben’s wife seated across from Rey discussed the cranberry salad recipe with her mother.

 

The family ambled around her, and three years in, Rey was practiced at keeping up appearances, skilled in her daughter-in-law role.

She’d recognized that same bored grin of ambivalence on his face when he’d joined the family. She would catch him looking at her or watch his smile dissipate when he realized she knew he faked joy.

 

She knew her own tells.

She instinctively knew his.

 

It had been easy enough to drag the inanimate object of their marriage out of storage along with their winter coats, and pass it around to be inspected with the wrapped gifts on Christmas morning. Rey would have gotten away with it all - the picture of marital legitimacy.

If her sister-in-law hadn’t married him two years ago, maybe none of this would have happened.

 

Maybe eight weeks ago when Rey rinsed the dishes Ben cleared, she would not have stiffened with a sharp inhale when he came close.

The grazing of his nose at her tresses pulled back in a comb, the way the strands tickled her ear as his movement dragged her locks back wouldn’t have stopped her heart.

She would never have dropped the soapy platter into the filled sink silently, clutching at the edge of the counter as her eyes slammed shut or held her breath until the weight of his forehead rested on her crown.

 

Instead, she’d tilted her face up, angling slightly into him, ever so gently twisting herself towards his towering frame.

The water poured into the sink, overflowing the empty basin beside it and Rey’s chest  heaved, her hands fixed fast to the countertop edge.

 

“I’ll bring out dessert,” her mother-in-law’s voice amplifying as she approached the kitchen.

 

Ben skittered to the back wall guiltily and Rey’s head jerked as she cleared her throat and lunged for a submerged dish.

When the kitchen emptied, Rey turned and dried her hands slowly on the tea towel. Her hips rested against the farmhouse sink apron, and she’d met Ben’s eyes. He hadn’t moved, still pinned against the far kitchen wall, his hands behind himself, his face too open, his eyes too dark.

 

They had stared at one another too long.

 

Now, the luxurious solitude of the hotel room felt suffocating. The room smelled too strongly, her shoes felt too tight, the hall outside was too noisy.

Someone would find out and catch her, find them.

She was supposed to be at a conference, and her nerves tightened as she recounted the trail of proof she’d left, the carefully-laid path to this trip she’d constructed.

 

There _is_ a conference at this hotel, and she may very well still attend. She’s signed up and paid.

It’s fine, this isn’t bad, she’s not done anything wrong.

 

She takes off her shoes and slips them on again, walking a figure eight into the carpeting over and over, crossing her arms over her chest, nibbling her bottom lip as she paces.

He’s not even here, he may not even come, but, then as if she’d summoned him across time and space, a knock freezes her, and she’s been found.

 

Heart-stopping, that’s what the knock is, and Rey doesn’t know if it’s because she’s inside a hotel room in a random city, or because she hopes it’s him.

 

_Ben._

 

She looks up into his eyes where he stands in the hallway, a leather satchel hanging from his shoulder. His eyes are as familiar behind his glasses as they’ve been since the beginning, and her heart races.

It doesn’t feel safe to speak while they’re in the hall, so Rey shushes her puritanical inner voice and moves aside to allow him entry into the room.

She closes the door, remembering this is her sister-in-law’s husband, her brother-in-law, her own family and this is fine, they’re okay as he silently surveys the space.

His eyes fall first to her luggage, then the bed, finally the drawn curtains and he takes a step further inside, pulling the bag’s strap from his broad shoulder.

 

Rey watches him as he adjusts his glasses and turns to face her, his hands finding his pockets as a chill skims her body with a slight shake.

He smiles, kindly, and she feels something start to unwind.

 

“Hi,” he says quietly.

 

This is okay. They’re not doing anything wrong. This isn’t bad.

 

“Hi,” she replies.

 

“Nice room.”

 

“Mhmm.” She looks around, nervous. She has nothing to offer him, no way to cut the tension, no way to know where to begin.

 

“Was your travel okay?”

 

“Oh. Um. Yes. I mean, it was long but, it was fine. I mean. Yes. Fine. It was fine.”

 

Her nerves are still running the show as she searches for words, trying to sound the furthest from guilty she can manage.

 

“You hungry?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“I think there’s something downstairs. I passed a restaurant on the way up. Want to…” he trails off.

 

“Yeah. Yes. Okay,” she turns to grab her clutch, jumping when he takes her elbow.

 

“Rey,” he says, making her swallow hard. “We’re just getting a bite to eat. We’ll get some food in our stomachs and if that’s all you want, that’s fine. We can discuss... sleeping arrangements and I can always get another room. Let’s just get some dinner first.  Okay?”

 

Mild panic rises both at the thought of him sleeping here and sleeping elsewhere but, despite her inner turmoil, she smiles in agreement.

 

“Okay.”

 

They only needed one key to reenter the room later, as they let it close behind them.

 

Rey kicked off her shoes and grabbed the remote as she climbed onto the bed, her mood relaxing as the evening wore on.

 

They’d teased and chatted easily for two hours over steak and salmon, two glasses of red wine each. In this foreign environment it was easy to imagine they were colleagues, acquaintances of some sort instead of in-laws, and they eased into delicious banter.

“Come on,” Rey offered, settling against the pillows stacked three deep at the headboard. “I logged into Netflix so I get to choose the movie.”

 

Ben hesitated, standing a foot away from the bed.

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Yeah. Ben, c’mon. It’s just TV.”

 

“I just…” he says, his hand at the back of his neck as he grimaces slightly. “I want you to be okay.”

 

It’s a gift, his delay, and it emboldens Rey, giving her a chance to convince him instead of herself for a change.

_He’s so beautiful._

 

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m okay. Just relax.”

 

“Alright,” he breathed, the bed depressing as he stretched out. “But, no James Bond,” he warned, making a joke.

 

This is fine.

They’re okay.

 

Her senses heighten with every heartbeat.

 

Images flash on the giant screen across the room as Rey notes the crinkling white linen beneath her, the feather pillows crushed behind her.

The dark room hums - the TV, the central heating, the road noise beyond the picture window.

Her chest rises and falls as she works to steady herself, every cell tuned to Ben as she calms her ragged heart.

 

He’s so tall.

His dark hair falls past his jaw to his collar,.

His shoulder grazes hers, heat blooming towards her center which has been steadily pulsing since the moment she saw him in the hallway.

He uncrosses his ankles, his knee bumping hers as he readjusts and he angles towards her.

 

“Okay?” he asks, blinking down at her.

 

Rey focuses her eyes on the TV and feigns interest in the movie, nodding.

She leans into him.

His hand slips over hers and she swallows.

_This is something._

_Something is happening._

 

Her heart slams against her chest and she struggles to give the illusion of calm. 

It is ten minutes more before Rey can look down at his hand atop hers, flat against the bed.

They’re in the same bed.

 

Excitement replaces her anxiety as courage washes over her and she settles further into the pillows, breathing methodically.  

 

Ben laces his finger with hers and he slowly brings her hand to his mouth.

Her hand rests against the most beautiful lips she’s ever known and then he’s kissing her.

 

Ben is kissing her.

 

She can’t think straight, can’t move a muscle, can’t believe it’s happened.

 

He watches her intently as he turns her hand over, kissing her palm.

 

He opens her hand as if it’s a treasure chest and he presses his mouth to her without looking away. Rey studies his lips as they move against her skin.

 

She resists rushing in panic even though this precious moment may end at any time.

 

Her fingertips find the edge of his ear as Ben’s lips move to her wrist and he slides closer. His mouth trails her forearm, towards the inside of her elbow where he sucks a kiss into her sensitive skin through her sleeve, hot and wet through her top.

 

She smiles when he meets her gaze, caressing his ear with her fingers, weaving through his hair.

 

_God, so soft._

 

She could be doing this, touching his hair, if she was only his sister-in-law. This is okay. This isn’t cheating.

 

The movie plays as Ben kisses up to her shoulder, hovering and Rey is paralyzed with anticipation.

 

His fingertips breach her clothes to drag her collar towards her shoulder, exposing her bra strap and her breath hitches embarrassingly.

 

His smile at her is almost a smirk.

 

“Stop?”

 

“No,” she whispers.

 

His lips descend to her skin, so slowly. His mouth touches her and she moans.

Unable to keep her hands to herself, she pulls him closer.

 

She thinks back to all the moments she’s stared into his eyes as he looks at her, and she makes decisions.

 

She wonders how she’s made it this long and how she’ll endure, staring at him across a room again.

 

He leans forward and kisses her.

It’s the kiss she’s fantasized about, wished for as she’s climaxed a hundred times.

The kiss she’s given her husband, always meant for Ben.

 

She swallows his groan and scrapes her nails into his skin and opens her mouth, panting as she moves to throw off her silky blouse.

 

Ben reaches to still her hand.

 

“Rey. Are you sure?”

 

“No,” she says honestly after considering, kissing him greedily.

 

She throws off her shirt, and drags him on top of her as she collapses into the nest of pillows.

 

She can barely think beyond her agenda to get him closer. Her hands untuck his shirt, and he tugs it overhead from behind, his glasses caught and abandoned as he shucks the whole ball of clothing.

 

Her heart is pounding, her breathing labored, her mind coming apart at the seams to be closer to him, _finally._

Her history of past efforts to resist him crumble, a useless house of cards.

 

She has to consume this experience whole, relish it completely. She has to have all of Ben for herself, even if it’s just once.

“Ben,” she says, against his lips, “In this room, we are okay. What happens in this room is between us. I want this. I want this to happen.”

He searches her eyes one minute longer before kissing her hard and not letting up.

 

There is no chance she’ll forget Ben Solo’s bare chest against her bra. Her nipples strain through the flimsy, white lace as she rubs herself unabashedly beneath him.

 

She unbuttons her jeans and shimmies out without ever letting him stop kissing her, hurrying to position herself beneath his body as quickly as possible.

 

He feels so goddamn right between her legs.

 

 

He’s so hard, every inch of him. His huge cock is outlined in his jeans where she writhes in lace panties under him, his muscles holding him aloft.

 

She moans as he kisses along her neck, down the slope of her breasts, the valley between, across the lace he wets with his tongue.

Her hands run the length of his back, his flank, his arms as she kisses his jaw and throat, his cock grinding against her wet panties.

 

“Do you know, Rey? Do you have any idea?” he asks, his words mumbled into her neck.

 

She whines with need incoherently.

 

“No,” he says, lavishing her throat and breasts with his lips, moving down to mouth at her pussy through the fabric, returning to suck her nipples through the lace.

 

“You don’t know. You can’t. How I’ve wanted you. How I’ve been desperate for you. Every time I fuck it’s imagining you, it’s just you. Touching you. Tasting you. Fucking your sweet body until I own you,” he chokes out, tugging her ponytail until her neck is exposed.

 

“I do,” she swears, “I do. _Ben, Ben, Ben._ ”

 

“Making you mine, instead of his.” He punctuates every word with a thrust of himself against her aching core, her legs scrabbling for purchase against his thighs. The seam of his jeans rubs her clit as he moves and she’s desperate to come.

 

“Yes, yes. _Yours, Ben, yours_ ,” she chants as he rolls into her, his kiss branding her.

 

It is the sweetest agony as he plunges his tongue into her mouth in rhythm with his hips thrusting against her wet pussy.

 

Her moans ricochet around the room while her body sings his name, whimpering as she spasms tightly at the peak before crumbling below him in a fluttering mess of satiation.

He groans his approval as he sits back on his heels and unzips his jeans, pulling his engorged cock from his pants. Rey’s eyes focus through a haze of feminine satisfaction, her wanton gaze lazy as she revels in his size.

 

She’s already climaxed but, she’s still hungry for him.

 

She sits up, bracing her arms behind herself and plants open-mouthed kisses across his chest and stomach, breathing his cologne-scented skin. She nuzzles the line of fuzz leading to his cock with her nose as he groans and wraps a hand around the back of her head and jerks his cock beneath her jaw, bumping her chin.

 

Her mouth open, tongue exposed, she could lap at his slit, taste his cum, lick at his stiff cock if he loosened his hand, if she moved slightly.

 She would take anything, give him everything but, he tortures them both.

 

He moans and rolls his head as his fingers tighten in her ponytail, jacking his cock beneath her jaw.

 

He rubs his cock across her bra, her nipples stiffening again at the tickle of his hard muscle at the fabric.

She could get herself off to a recording of this man’s gloriously filthy moans for a lifetime.

 

_“Fuck, goddamn, fuck, fuck.”_

 

She smiles deviously to hear him driven to curse a blue streak of profanity. If she is overwrought, so should he be.

 

She watches him, stroking his cock to completion punishingly.  
  
When he comes it is on her lace bra and she arches her back to welcome it, his fingers rubbing his spend into the fabric, ruining it with himself forever, just as she wants.

 

 _Dear God, that just happened_.

 

Ben’s huge hand rubs circles against her stomach as they collapse and he curls beside her, his large body sheltering hers as if he were made to do so.

 

 _Safe_. She feels safe.

 

Her panties and bra are wet with cum and sweat and she’s overcome with the freedom of unfettered adoration.  
There isn’t room for fear or regret when she is bursting at the seams with fulfillment.

 

“Are _you_ okay?” she asks, suddenly aware she’d never asked him.

 

He huffs behind her.

“Yeah."

She has no choice but to smile herself to sleep as she lays in Ben’s arms, his voice in her ear and his warmth at her back.

Outside there is a cold world but, inside this hotel room, Rey is safe and utterly warm, melted butter sliding into hot bread.  

Ben is here and he was hers.

 

And they are locked in together now.

 

********


	2. Room 8112

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all know my sister @rileybabe made this gorgeous edit.

 

 

__

 

_“I want a love that licks its lips and begs for seconds.” - Beau Taplin_

 

**Room 8112**

 

It’s a blackberry winter. It’s been growing warmer but this cold snap had nearly derailed her plans.

She couldn’t have known it would snow so late in the spring and it almost ruined her trip, her hopes, her heart.

 

The strength by which she has held herself together these months has been nothing short of herculean, her mind a mess of memories, her eyes accustomed to tears.

 

Did she always know this would happen again?

 

It was a silent promise to herself, if not to him, the instant he touched her skin. What he made alive could not be ignored, not when it careened through the halls of her body screaming for him.

The key in her hand quivers slightly as she nervously waves it near the pad, the _click_ unlocking a world she’d sealed months before.

 

He’s already here.

She glimpses his luggage slumped into the thick carpet as if the bag is waiting, watching for her appearance.

Rey shrugs her purse beside it as she drops her suitcase, her coat, her room key and Ben springs from the bed the moment she appears.

She runs into his arms as a gasp climbs her throat, his arms encircling her as she is made right again.

 

_Oh my God, oh my God._

 

Ben’s words are less spiritual but, no less emphatic, his breath hot against her as he pants into her hair, her throat.

 

 _“Fuck, fuck, fuck,”_ he murmurs, a whispered exclamation.

 

 _Shelter_ , her brain supplies.

 

She looks up into his eyes, tears half-blinding, allowing herself what she’s not been granted these months.

 

His thumbs trace her cheekbones as she loses herself in him.

No one else worships her like this.

 

The last time she’d been in the same room with him was Mother’s Day, two weeks earlier. Sunday morning church service where he’d sat dutifully beside his wife as Rey matched his posture beside her husband down the aisle, she had painstakingly evaded him all morning.

 

She dodged seating arrangements, averted her eyes as her heart thudded painfully against her ribs, straining for him.

 

“What’s going on?” she’d been ready for her husband to ask.

“Why are you nervous? Is there someone else? Is it him? Has it always been him?”

 

She’d steeled herself, prepared for the accusation, sure her husband would notice.

 

No one noticed Rey’s hands shaking or her eyes skittering frantically.

 

“Happy Mother’s Day to you, too, Rey,” her father-in-law had said as the bread basket made its way around the table.

 

“Wha-what?” she stuttered. The table quieted as all eyes landed on her. “I’m not a mother!”

 

Ben’s eyes bore a hole through her across the linen-draped table. She knew it without a glance.

 

“Are you…” his wife offered, her eyebrows raised.

 

“No. N-no!”

 

“Well, you will be!” her father-in-law prophesied. “Soon enough, I’ll bet, you will be. Isn’t that right, son?”

 

A hard blush burned her cheeks, the theft of her autonomy infuriating in the patronizing declaration. Her husband patted her arm as he circled her shoulders, submissively chuckling.

 

“We’ll see. We’ll see,” he laughed along.

 

Attention shifted to the matriarch, and Rey cut her way through her roasted chicken and vegetables with vigor.

 

“Excuse me,” she whispered, rising.

 

 

A short trip to the ladies’ room where she sat hunched on a commode, face buried in her hands restored her stamina to endure.

 

Ben’s tall body, delicious and wide, his dark eyes concerned and luminous met her in the short hallway as she exited.

 

Aware of how exposed they were, she pushed past him, but not before raising a hand, her fingertips trailing his abdomen.

His stomach rippled beneath his button-down, her hand grazing the fabric inside his open blazer.

 

Her feet stalled as she paused to look up at him.

 

_If anyone saw them now, they’d know everything._

 

Ben’s hand caught hers and he held her palm against him, his gaze on her steady as she held her breath.

 

Before they could be caught, she nervously rushed back to the table.

Only when he helped her cardigan around her shoulders had he whispered to her, so urgently he couldn’t be ignored, so quietly no one else could’ve heard.

 

_“Please.”_

 

It was the same tone he used as he spoke to her now, against her lips as he crushed her mouth to his and Rey was adrift.

 

_“Baby. Baby.”_

 

Everything torn stitched together seamlessly.

 

“I couldn’t stand it, I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t…”

 

The list of things Rey has barely tolerated since the last time she was in Ben’s arms unfurls in her mind’s eye.

She shakes her head instead, knowing she can never express it sufficiently.

 

Ben’s forehead rests against hers as their breathing syncs.

When her eyes lift to meet his, she drinks her fill, refueling her empty tank.

 

Each piece of him just where she'd left them.

 

“Do you want to…” he offers.

Ever the gentleman, ever the hunter.

 

She’s been granted another stolen night with him and she wants every experience possible crammed inside these hours.

 

“Dinner?” she asks. “Before...dessert?”

 

Scarcity has made her bold.

 

He rewards her bravery with a kiss, a lick at her lips, her eager mouth left gaping as he pulls back.

He watches as he trails a thumb inside, brushing her tongue with the salty, plump pad of his finger and her lips seal around his digit as she sucks him in.

 

_If they don’t leave this room now, they won’t._

 

Rey laces his thick fingers between her own, stretching her hand to fit.

She wraps herself around his arm as they make their way down the elevator, through the lobby, towards the sports bar.

 

Food has never been consumed so efficiently.

 

She teases him through the meal, sucking sauce from her fingers, trailing a bare foot against his calf.

He presses her against the elevator wall once the door slides closed. He moans into her mouth as he roughly kneads her breasts through her shirt.

 

“Mmf - mmf,” she memorizes his desperate, male noises, locks them away.

 

His knee pushes between her legs, lifting her onto tiptoes as she straddles his thigh, hands tangling in his hair as she gasps while he ravages her neck.

 

Her eyes flutter open as he walks them through the hallway, hands groping wildly as the key connects with the lock, the door obliging.

She can’t be bothered to be embarrassed about how she pants when he tears her shirt off.

 

His shirt follows, her bra is ripped free as her breasts spring towards him. His mouth lavishes heat on her tender, tipped nipples as his groans meet her ears.

 

“This,” he moans. “This is what I want. _This_ , baby girl.”

 

All she can do is cling to him as they tumble to the floor, collapsing as Ben dotes on her breasts.

 

It’s not enough.

 

“More. Baby, _more_ ,” she whimpers desperately.

 

His hands are on her shoulders as he turns her body, her knees coming under her as she arches her back to reach for him. He palms her breasts as he presses his groin into her ass through his khaki pants and her jeans.

 

“Don’t you fucking wear jeans again, you hear me?” he rasps as he tugs the button open, drags the zipper down, yanking her panties and jeans to her knees. “I can’t take it. I can’t be this far from you, and that sweet, pretty cunt. I want you baby, I want you so bad, Jesus, fuck.”

 

“Yes, yes, Ben, baby, take me, take me apart, hhnnggg,” she’s babbling.

 

She’s a mess of words and feelings, her knees rug-burned as he bends her over, holding her tightly.

 

Ben curls over her, his cock naked and leaking at her entrance.

He’s rubbing himself through her folds and she reaches down between her legs to feel his head breach her skin, leaking when she feels the tip.

His hands find her ass, gripping her cheeks and hips as he groans, masculine and tortured.

 

It’s the sweetest sound Rey has ever heard and she arches her back as his slick cock bumps her clit.

 

“Do you think of me?” he demands.

 

She nods her head furiously, a haze of desperation tinting her thoughts as she rocks against him.

 

“Do you think of me? Like this? When you come, is it for me, baby girl?”

 

He’s breaking her.

He’s ruining her, he’s melting her, and when she finds her voice it’s unfamiliar to her.

 

“You’re all,” she grits out. “You’re all I think of. When I come, Ben, it’s always for you. You're all I see, baby.”

 

His length disappears from her pussy lips as he withdraws with a loud groan, and she looks over her shoulder, despairing. His brow is furrowed severely as he studies her prone body. She watches as he brings his cock to rub against her cleft, one hole to the next, exposed, waiting to be used.

 

“Baby, I have to fuck my hand thinking about this wet, little pussy, wanting to fuck you raw, bury myself inside you. You have no idea how hard it is to control myself around you.”

 

He nudges her entrance and Rey keens, clenching, panting, barely controlling the urge to sink back against him.

 

His cock barely presses her skin her before he backs away.

 

With strong hands, he tilts her hips backward and buries his face in her pussy, his mouth enveloping her cunt whole.

Every swipe of his tongue sends tremors through her thighs, clawing the carpet under her hands as she pants his name.

 

_Such beautiful misery._

 

She roars when she comes.

 

His licks through her climax, her shudders of aftershocks, her blissful wails and choking breaths.

 

“Please, please. Ben, baby, I need you. _Please._ Baby, _please_.”

 

She’s undone, begging and defeated.

She has need only now to be claimed by this final act and her fall is complete.

 

 _“Uhh uhh uhh uhh,”_ she hears him behind her, feels his hot cum land on her skin, her bottom taking his seed as it slips between her folds and slides warm against her pulsing cunt.

 

So close, not close enough.

 

Should she be grateful?

Relieved?

 

Now that the flames have abated, and she can see how crossing the final threshold would spell disaster, is she thankful Ben has some measure of control?

 

Now perhaps, she’s remembering how sanity works, how responsible people function?

 

_No._

 

She’s broken the seal, entered the abyss.

She’s awoken the slumbering dragon, the siren, the vixen who lives for Ben.

 

They’re still on the floor, half-nude beside the king-sized bed they will use later.

 

Rey stands and gives Ben her hand, tugging him to stand. Her sensitive nipples graze his silken, muscled chest and she reaches to kiss him as he rubs his sweet mouth against hers.

Nose nuzzling nose, their foreheads meet and the room quiets as they catch their breath.

 

“I can’t get enough of you,” she whispers.

 

She drops her jeans and panties completely, comfortably naked and leads him to the shower. They run soaped hands over one another’s skin and she kneels as the water baptizes her. His heavy cock fucks her mouth as Ben faces the ceiling, his hands caressing her face while she takes him.

 

He carries her to bed wrapped in white towels, her hair seeping a wet circumference into the duvet beneath her as he unknots her towel and fucks his huge fingers inside her.

 

She feels him inside her body for the first time.

 

He fills her so good and it’s just his three perfect fingers while he licks her tits and sucks on her mouth. He watches her orgasm in his hand with a wicked, proud glint in his eye.

 

“I belong to you,” he says urgently as she rides his hand and bites her lip. “I don’t care what the papers say, I know I would have found you. I knew the first time I saw you.”

 

Her eyes flicker between his, weighing his words as he slows.

 

“This is real,” she states, looking for reassurance.

 

“This is _real_ ,” he repeats, fingers entering her insistently. “Baby, I belong to you. I want you, over and over. I want you, fuck, baby, I want _you_.”

 

The wave she crests while she moans his name, hands pulling at his hair while she gasps into his mouth, hits so hard she arches up into him.

 

She quakes as she finishes, naked, on her back, smiling limply as her eyes open, never more brazen in her life.

 

She’s ripe and he’s taken her fruit, and she will never have goddamned enough.

 

“If you belong to me, show me,” she challenges, lying on her back, her mouth an open invitation.

 

Ben kneels beside her and grips the headboard. His huge, leaking cock pulses against her puckered lips as she runs kisses up his length.

She moans with glee.

 

When she spits on him, he groans and hisses while he drags her closer. With a knowing smile she spreads her lips wide and swallows him deeply.

 

The bed beneath her creaks as his taut arm shakes it and Rey basks in his labors above her.

She’s getting him off, she’s taking his cum as it spills impatiently onto her tongue.

 

_He belongs to me._

 

He leans his forehead to the wall, looking down at her while he comes down her throat. His hand winds behind her head and he beams at her when she swallows and radiates a smile for him.

 

“Holy hell,” he mutters, sinking beside her.

 

“Mine,” she says.

 

She pulls him by the shoulders until he’s resting between her open thighs and she feels his heart’s rhythm against hers.

 

_Ben is mine._

 

“You own me. I’m fucking yours.”

This time when she leaves the hotel, she’ll kiss his luscious mouth, refreshed and glorying.

 

She is not confused, or disoriented, or conflicted.

 

She’ll have more of this man.  
She’ll need more. And she will have him.

 

Again.

 

**********

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is when I hand you each awards for being the Best Readers Ever .....
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> ...and this is me, reading your comments. 
> 
>  
> 
>  


	3. Room 611

__

 

_“Let me pin you up against the wall...And prove to myself it is possible to have everything I’ve ever wanted out of life all at once.” - Beau Taplin_

 

**Room 611**

 

He’s late.

 

It’s been hours and she’s worked through every task she could imagine while she’s waited in their hotel room.

 

She’s showered, carefully shaving until she’s smooth as a dolphin, and perfumed fresh as a flower.

She’s paced, channel-surfed, she’s snacked, napped and re-caffeinated.

 

The late summer sun has long since set.

Delayed.

She calls her airline. She spends money. She texts her husband she’ll be home a day later.

 

She will not leave without seeing Ben. She won’t.

The door handle jiggles and she jumps.

 

 _Finally_ , she thinks, jumping up from the bed and throwing the door open, her face lit with joy.

 

He drops his bags immediately to wind his arms around her. He looks exhausted and relieved as he kisses her.

She’s been saving this for him, and she wastes no time showering his gorgeous face with her affection.

 

She hops up into his arms, pulling herself close until she’s seated flush against him, legs wrapped tightly, his hands holding her aloft.

His hands are on her and she’s breaching the water’s surface after holding her breath. She squeezes her eyes shut.

Ben walks into the room while she’s still wound around him tightly.

 

“I thought you’d never get here,” she mumbles, pouty and forgiving.

 

“I’m so sorry. The plane coming in was delayed and the flight got pushed back.”

 

“Just hold me.”

 

“Nothing could’ve stopped me, Rey. I’d have gotten to you no matter what, baby.”

 

She thinks back to her own decisions and immediately relates to how expensive that statement is.

Dropping to her feet, she unburdens him of his luggage, his wallet, his shoes and she deposits them beside her own.

She’s seen their shoes like this before.

 

Side-by-side near her in-law’s front door, it had stolen her breath to see her flats tossed haphazardly, dwarfed beside his shoes.

 

As if his shoes were innocent.  
As if they weren’t taunting Rey, lying there.

 

_“We belong to him. He owns us. He touches us.”_

 

As if she hadn’t last seen his shoes discarded on the hotel room floor beside their bed.

She’d stood staring longer than made sense at the pile of shoes, before she’d joined the family for Father’s Day lunch.

 

He was in the kitchen.

She could see him from her perch on her husband’s armchair, the option which offered her a view of his perfect ass in his perfect jeans.

 

His hair was longer.

Just barely, but, she’d familiarized herself with him while she ran her fingers through his hair as he lay between her thighs.  
She knew exactly how long it was.

His back muscles flexed under his t-shirt, a complex set of gears grinding flawlessly.

His voice rumbled as he spoke quietly, chuckling at something their mother-in-law said as Rey watched him lift a carrot to his lips and snap a bite between his teeth.

She sat there as long as she dared, giving herself permission to stare longingly at his back.

 

She’d taken her time and walked carefully to the kitchen, out of his line of vision until the moment of her choosing.

She wanted to see each thought pass like clouds through his heart when he glimpsed her. She would horde them.

 

He held her gaze one beat, maybe two, before her lashes lowered and she looked away.

There were too many people, and she had too little shame left.

 

He handed her a carrot as she passed through the kitchen, then resumed chopping and Rey continued towards the family room.

Later, stepping into her ballet flats, she’d been gripped by the most laughable thought when she imagined clutching his shoes to her chest as she departed.

 

How would she explain that her brother-in-law’s shoes were inside their car?

Ludicrous.

 

 

She turned now to see Ben’s shoes dropped beside hers and her heart swells behind her rib cage.

 

 _He belongs with me_.

 

“You’re tired,” she notes when he drops onto the bed.

 

She crawls atop him and presses her nose to his sternum, inhaling his scent through his shirt.

 

“Come up here,” he mumbles, tugging her by the waist until she is eye-level with him. “I missed you so much.”

 

“I missed you, too.”

 

She’s locked him down until their time’s up. She needn’t hurry.

 

He drags his hands lazily to the small of her back while she dips down to kiss him, spreading her lips to slip her tongue inside as his fingers tuck beneath her shirt.

She has an entire night to kiss him as she pleases.

Her hands roam the planes of his face, curling around his ears and landing behind his neck. She straddles his hips, her breath quickening as Ben’s hands slip to cup her breasts and then inside her leggings to scoop around her ass.

She moans when his fingers squeeze her.

 

“I can let you go to sleep if you want,” she offers after debating.

 

“I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”

 

She chuckles.

 

Sitting up, she takes care removing her shirt, revelling in his worshipful gaze. She traces his shoulders, as she leans in to kiss him while his hands canvas her bare skin.

He’s deliberate as he touches her breasts, and she throws her head back. Her hair sweeps the small of her back as she arches towards him.

 

His hands on her are the best thing in life, his every action the one she craves.

His pinches, that caress, this grazing, she moans deliriously at the perfection.

 

She opens her eyes and looks down at him.

Her hair falls over one shoulder as she brings her other hand to her waist.

 

She holds his gaze while she stands and towers over him on the bed.

Legs widely splayed, she wiggles her hips to slide her pants and thong to her ass and he reaches to drag them down.

In this room she is safe, a monarch and goddess, so she keeps her eyes locked on his while she shucks her bra. When she’s stripped bare she sinks onto him, her gaping pussy naked over his clothed cock.

 

“Can you take these off?” she asks quietly, tugging at his waistband leaning forward to press her mouth to his, his stiff cock under her bare, split pussy making her gasp lightly.

 

“Baby, I -” he begins, swallowing hard.

 

Before it’s registered, he’s thrown her onto the bed, knocked her breathless as he crouches above her. Her wrists are pinned beside her head in his hands, his voice rasps.

 

“Fuck,” he chokes out, shaking his head, eyes squeezed shut.  
  
“Listen to me, Rey,” he says urgently, lowering his chin, piercing her eyes with his. “If you don’t want this, baby, you better tell me _right now._ Because I swear to God, I can’t take it anymore. I’ve got to be inside you, I’ve got to get lost inside you. Please. I can’t hold on anymore, I can’t hold on."

 

“Come here,” she tries to tug him closer. “Touch me. Feel me.”

 

“I want to fuck you so hard you never forget it.”

 

Her hands are still trapped when he pulls back to look her in the eye. He’s straddling her now, her naked body heaving beneath his while he awaits her answer, hair hanging in his eyes.

 

“Please,” she says, her turn to plead. “Baby, _yes._ Fuck me, Ben _, please._ ”

 

He lowers his head to lick her nipples, sucking her into the wet heat of his mouth before leaning away to strip. She watches him, arms outstretched to him as he climbs atop her again.

 

 _Yespleaseyespleaseyesplease,_ her mind races.

 

His thick cock is hot and dripping as he nudges her entrance while he plunders her mouth. She wraps her legs around his hips and centers herself beneath him, whining with need.

She’s so far past shame, she’s proudly impatient.

 

When he leans back and takes himself in hand, meeting her eyes one last time, she watches as he stares at her pussy, open and wet.

He aligns their bodies and watches every inch of his cock slide inside her slowly, disappearing until Rey chokes.

 

Seated fully inside her, she can barely speak.

Her body is so full of him, so crushed as he descends to kiss her, she breathes hard into his open mouth.

 

“I can’t believe how beautiful you are,” he grinds out as he gently presses inside. “Fuck, baby, you feel so good. Fucking hell, you are _everything_ I want, Rey. God, _fuck._ ”

 

Her eyes roll back as she listens, his hips meeting hers as he slides more freely. She strokes his back and sucks on his lips when he kisses her.

 

“Oh my God,” she exhales a holy thought.

 

Rey laces their fingers as they move together, every place they touch sighing in bliss.

 

“Tell me what you need,” he says, buried in her neck, his voice intense. “Baby, tell me how to touch you. I wanna feel you come so bad.”

 

“Just fuck me. Deeper, baby, take me deeper. Want you as deep as you can be,” she confesses.

 

If she’d wounded him, she’s not sure he could sound any more pained.

 

He kisses her neck ferociously as he drives inside her.

She wonders whether he’ll leave a mark and she momentarily hopes so.

 

“God, Rey, I’ve wanted you so bad, baby.”

 

He slows and she looks into his eyes as he pulls back.

She brushes his hair back and leans up to kiss his plush mouth sweetly, pecking the places she’s nipped, lifting her hips to meet his.

 

“Me too, baby. So bad I couldn’t stand it anymore. And I was here alone and I waited so long. I was so worried thinking you’d…”

 

He kisses her before she can finish, one hand cradling her skull while he presses inside deeply. He groans while her eyes burn with unshed tears. When the tears slide free from behind her squeezed eyelids, he kisses the tracks and murmurs into her skin as he fucks her hard.

 

“I worship you. You destroy me. I’m fucking jealous as hell for your mouth and your arms and your legs and your cunt and your eyes. I want to give you what you need. I want to just fucking _take_ what I want. Don’t cry, baby, not tonight, please don’t cry.”

She nods and hold fast as they move in unison.

 

He wraps a broad hand around her thigh and lifts her leg, hoisting her until he can kiss her knee, her calf small in his grip.  
  
“Fuck, God, you take my cock so good, baby,” he says, watching.

 

“Don’t come yet, Ben, don’t come yet. Fuck me all night.”

His mouth is on hers, his hands dropping beside her, any request his mission.

 

“You’re so right inside me.”  

 

“God, baby, you were meant for me. God _damn_ it, you were made for me, Rey.”

 

Fresh tears coursed down her cheeks at his words, as the painful truth of his words flood her.

 

“I’m sorry,” she sniffles, hoping to avoid disruption.

 

“No, no. Baby, _I’m_ sorry. I’m sorry, Rey, I’m so sorry.”

 

His kisses increase until he stops and leans back, dragging a hand down his face.

 

“Ben, _Ben…_ ”

She’s reaching for him as he rolls away, pinching the bridge of his nose as he closes his eyes.

 

He’s seated at the edge, his back to her, head lowered.

 

“I’ll stop. I’ll stop crying. I can stop,” she tells him, sniffling. Rey hovers, hands at his shoulders, as panic climbs her throat. “I’m sorry. I’m being too emotional.”

 

“No, Rey, it’s okay. You’re not.”

 

For a moment, she tracks his gaze as he studies the ceiling.

Somewhere between apologizing and declaring, she speaks quietly.

 

“I don’t want to waste our night.”

 

His gaze lands on her softly, taking her hand in his.

 

“Baby, you haven’t wasted anything. I shouldn’t have told you not to cry. You’re allowed to feel, Rey. I want to know you. I want to know how you feel.”

 

_I feel like I’m in love with you._

 

“I feel good.”

 

“Do you?”

 

“Ben, _yes_. You were just fucking me. Filling me up, giving me everything I’ve ever wanted. So good. Baby, you are _so_ good for me.”

 

His sigh breaks her heart.

 

“Am I?”

 

“Yes. Ben, _yes._ Come back to bed _.”_

 

Instead he stands and runs both hands through his hair, leaving Rey bereft.

 

Fear stampedes towards her.

 

“I _want_ to be good for you. You’re...you’re this precious jewel, this treasure and I show up and fuck up your whole world. I’m a selfish asshole and I am making such an awful, goddamn mess. I would burn down my _life_ for you, baby. I want you so bad, but, I feel like I’m hurting you.”

 

His palms planted on the dresser, his shoulders hunch as he faces the mirror.  
From the center of the bed behind him, Rey is eye-to-eye with his reflection.

 

She opens her arms vulnerably as he watches her.

His back straightens, and his arms fall to his sides when he turns.

 

“Come here.”

 

Once he’s cuddled to her breasts, the tidal wave of terror subsides.

 

His arms around her tighten as she drags her fingers through his hair, while she kisses his worried brow smooth.

 

“Shh,” she whispers.

 

Slowly, she settles them beneath crisp linens and reaches to turn off the light.

Ben’s breathing slows as she curls nose-to-nose with him and kisses his lips.

 

“You? Are the man of my dreams,” she confesses. “I should have waited but, what if there was no other way to have found you? Ben, we _found_ each other.”

 

Even in the darkness, she can see his dark eyes as he weighs her words.

 

“It feels like I’m at war with myself. I want you so bad, Rey, I swear, I can’t even tell you. And then, at the same time I don’t want to ruin you because you’re this priceless person.”

 

“Ben, I was already ruined. Baby, I was ruined the moment I saw you.”

 

His lips are on her, and the shrinking waves of fear dissipate.

 

“I should stop myself,” he concedes as he pushes inside her. “I shouldn’t let myself have you.”

 

His thrusts are deep and his urgency rocks the bed.

Rey tightens her fingertips into his ass, gripping him.

 

“Give it all to me. Ruin me more.”

 

She gasps for breath as she pushes him onto his back, impaling herself on his cock.

 

“That first night, do you remember?”

 

She’s bouncing on his cock, her voice strong as her hips roll against his.

His hands grip her tightly while she rides him. Dragging his fingertips across her breasts, she guides his touch and looks into his eyes when she speaks.

 

“You ruined me that first night. It felt like...like this fast, sharp pain. Like, there you were, like my soul recognized you and I was overwhelmed, just drowning in regret.”

Her movements deepen as she leans down atop him, fucking herself slowly with his cock.

 

“Every step of my life until that moment felt fake, and one look at you and I knew why.”

 She’s close enough to kiss him but, she leans back and rides him hard instead, moaning and tossing her hair freely. Unleashed, she abandons decency and scrapes her nails across his chest.

 

“You could have taken me that night. Do you know that? I wanted you that first night, the first goddamn moment I saw you. I would have fucked you then, anyway you wanted it, baby, whether they knew it or not, that’s how crazy you make me.”

He twitches inside her with a moan and she smiles, her effect on him making her fierce.

 

“When you come inside me, baby, I want you to know I want it. I want your cum so bad. And I will not stop riding you until you give me what I want.”

 

She pins her palms to his chest and jacks her body on his hard cock as he gasps and groans, emptying himself inside her helplessly.

When he finally opens his eyes, she is shining victoriously, riding him while he softens. She fingers herself with his cum while he watches and handles her breasts, murmuring encouragement.

 

“You’re such a good girl. You’re a goddess. Come for me, baby. Come on me. My sweet girl.”

 

“Yesyesyesyesyes _BenBenBen_.”

 

Her mind is blank for a moment as she lays heaving against his chest before her thoughts flood.

 

_It’s done._

 

She lifts her head to see Ben’s eyes as he brushes her hair over a shoulder and she leans into his hand.

 

It’s too noisy in her head now to speak but they can take their time.

Laying side by side, they trace scars and veins and wrinkles as the stare at one another.

 

He’ll kiss her or she’ll squeeze him and their heavy eyes finally close, welcoming sleep.

 

When they wake, they’re still face-to-face, and after she stretches luxuriously, he lazily cradles her in his half-sleepy state.

 

Ransacking her mind, she searches for guilt but finds only ecstatic satisfaction.

She’s already planning their next rendezvous before breakfast, while the wall at her back warms with the friction they make as he fucks her.

 

********

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...posting because @KyloTrashForever and @polkadotdotdot knew @newerconstellations had finished beta'ing this Smut Bus and talked me into it. 


	4. Room 4225

 

_“Hold me like I’m all you have. Love me like we’re meant to last.”  - Beau Taplin_

 

**Room 4225**

 

If she were wise, she’d have waited till dark.

She could’ve met him elsewhere, but while her husband was out of town, she couldn’t help but take advantage.

 

_The sooner, the better._

 

An autumn breeze exposing her lack of panties would be suspect, so she gathers her skirt fabric as she strides towards the hotel lobby.

 

Her modesty has fallen away like the leaves she crushes as she walks.

She doesn’t even consider hiding her smile.

 

When she tosses her bags onto the bed, she sways happily as she gazes out the window.  
The still room offers her the peace to replay her treasured memories.

 

It was quiet the last time she was with him, too.

 

The backyard festivities raucous, people lounged with cake and small-talk while Rey slipped unnoticed inside the quiet house.

 

She had disciplined her eyes, helping staff the family birthday party as Ben had lent muscle to the activities, never far from her sight.

 

She hoped he would push his way inside the small space with her when she escaped to the half-bath tucked inside a remote bedroom.

Her heart skipped a beat when she saw his hand curl around the door, holding it wide enough to stealthily slip inside.

 

She would always invite him.

He’d wasted no time getting his mouth on hers.

 

“Mmmm,” she’d murmured around a smile. “You taste like buttercream.”

 

“You taste like a fucking tease,” he’d growled.

 

“I’m not teasing! I’ve been on my best behavior! I’ve been so good, I’ve…”

 

“Shhh,” he’d whispered urgently. “They’re all right outside.”

 

He sucked at her lips while she moaned.

Boosting her onto the counter while she looped her hands around his shoulders, she gasped when he tugged at her panties under her skirt.

 

 _“Ben,”_ she whispered a moan.

 

“Shhh.”

 

She worked to release his pants, her breathing quickening as she removed his cock and sank to her knees. Voices filtered through the high window as Rey wet his length with her mouth.

 

His hands knotted in her hair while she wrapped her tongue around him, gripping his ass to draw him closer.

 

 

“Where’s Rey?” a voice called.

 

“Dunno. Inside the house?” someone answered.

 

 

Rey peered up at Ben from her knees and she licked him wantonly, bottom to tip.

 

He reached for the door handle and double-checked the lock.

His hand cradled her head as his brow furrowed and he watched her lips. Rey savored his taste, memorizing his face as she watched him.

 

When his eyes squeezed shut and his bottom lip snagged between teeth, she rose and turned her back to him.

Lifting her skirt above her ass, she leaned over the sink and caught his eye through through the mirror.

 

 _“Fuck me,”_ she mouthed to his reflection.

 

She watched as he dropped his gaze, throbbing dick in his hand as he aligned their bodies and she held her breath when he slid inside.

 

Her gasp escaped before she could catch it, and his hand flew to her mouth, silencing her.

Her brow knit as she struggled to stay quiet, nodding and arching to rest her head on his shoulder behind her.

 

He spoke softly as he pumped inside her, his wide hand splayed over her belly.

 

“No one knows your sweet pussy is mine.”

 

His filthy words tickled her ear as he pressed inside her, pulsing hard enough to bring her off her feet.

Her body rocked against his as he gripped her, trapped against the countertop.

 

He slid a hand to cup her breast, pinching her nipple through layers of clothes as she worked to suppress a moan.

 

 

  
“Anybody seen Rey?”

 

“Naw, she’s probably in the house.”

 

 

Ben met her eyes in the mirror as she lowered her chin, and he leaned over as her breasts bounced with each thrust.

 

“I love you.”

 

Stunned, she searched his reflection, his dark eyes fixed while he fucked her.

 

_Oh my God._

 

She turned abruptly, planting her hands on his shoulders, opening her mouth to kiss him hungrily as she jumped up to straddle him.

 

His hands beneath her ass, he settled her open pussy atop himself and entered her while she took his mouth, and he fucked her while she whimpered quietly.

 

She tugged his hair, clawed his chest, writhed and panted.

Soundlessly, she reciprocated in every way she could manage.

 

“Anyone seen Rey?”

 

“Rey! Rey?”

 

 

“I’m not coming til my baby does, first,” he whispered.

 

When her feet hit the floor, he knelt and licked her pussy until her knees shook.

 

“Holy hell.”

 

She’d leveled up, staying reserved while he ate her pussy as she stood. Her nails grazed his scalp while she bit back moans, his tongue arching inside her and entering her rhythmically.

 

On her toes, she threw one thigh over his broad shoulder, she keened under her breath. Head tossed back as she dragged his face against her clit, he licked her steadily until she sank to her soles.

 

Melting atop him, she relished the feeling as he filled her up once she sat on his lap. He buried his face in her neck and she held tight.

 

“Rey?”

 

Voices called, but Rey was lost to everyone but Ben.  She focused on his eyes as he gripped her ass and worked himself inside her.

Everything she wanted was in her hands.

She rode him to completion, giving and taking as he kissed her breathless.

 

“I love you.”

 

He whispered it fervently into her mouth as she kissed his exhaustion away.

Standing, she gazed up at him as he held her closely, her hands still tangled in his hair.

 

Pressed into the counter, the outside world infringing as they stared at one another, Rey’s heart pounded as she surrendered.

 

_I love you._

 

Her lips formed the words silently in response as he watched and leaned into her for a final kiss.

 

Three weeks was a long time to wait to hear him repeat those precious words, and Rey was done being patient.

He hadn’t even put his luggage down before she was kissing him, throwing her arms around his neck.

Ben rewarded her with a laugh, lifting her as he dropped his bags and scooped her to his chest.

 

“Well, hello there,” he smirked as she littered his cheeks and mouth with eager kisses.

 

“Hi.”

 

“Come here.”

 

Tangling as the door closes behind them, Rey breathes him in as her hands explore beneath his shirt.

 

“Are you hungry? Do you need anything?”

 

“I want to get into this bed with you and never let you leave.”

 

“God,” he says, looking down at his handful of her skirt, “ is this the skirt? The one we…”

 

She smiles deviously as he claims her mouth in a heated kiss.

 

“You drive me crazy,” he says, fisting her skirt in his hands as she unbuckles his belt. “I _dream_ about doing this to you.”

 

She’s naked in no time, pressed against him brazenly as he pauses to catch his breath.

 

“What can I have?” he asks, bringing his hands to cup her face.

 

“Anything,” she assures him.

 

Taking her hand, he leads her to the edge of the bed before throwing every pillow off and laying on his back. His thick erection arcs off his abdomen as he reaches for her hand.

 

“Come here. Sit on my face.”

 

He brings her hips to his throat before she turns around above him.

She settles above his mouth and leans to open over him.

The first swipe of his tongue through her cunt electrifies her, and she braces on forearms beside his knees with a gasp.

 

She uses a hand to bring his cock to her lips and sucks him softly into her mouth as his tongue grazes her clit. She moans noisily, as loudly as she needs while she rocks her hips against him.

She can’t decide what feels better, his heavy cock twitching with pleasure as she moans around him, or his tongue in her pussy, vibrating with his sounds.

 

When he resists, she refuses him exit.

She intensifies her licks, bobbing hard until he jerks erratically as she swallows his pulsing cum.

 

His helpless cries send her crashing headlong into bliss a moment later. He grips her hips, moaning his approval enthusiastically as she tumbles beside him, heaving.

 

“I can’t believe I didn’t get to come inside your pussy,” he mourns, as she curls beside him.

 

She snorts, amused.

 

“Next time,” she comforts him. “We’ve got all weekend.”

 

 

When he finds Rey in the tub the next morning, submerged in bubbles, he’s holding coffees and a bouquet of roses nestled in an ice bucket.

 

“Oh my God,” she croons, cocking her head with adoration as he positions them on the bathroom counter.

He strips with a proud grin and climbs in behind her as she scoots. She slides against his chest as the water climbs the tub edge.

 

“Thank you. That’s so sweet,” she hums, as he pulls her messy bun to the side and kisses her neck.

 

“If I were taking you on a date, I’d bring you flowers.”

 

“A perfect gentlemen.”

 

“Yep.”

 

“And I’d change my clothes six times before you came to pick me up.”

 

“I’d hold your hand everywhere we went.”

 

“Our fingers would touch in the popcorn bucket at the movies.”

 

“And I’d be the first one to get down on one knee for you.”

 

 

They fall silent as the final words echo around them.

 

 

“We didn’t have all that,” he admits.

 

“No.”

 

He scoops water over her chest without answering, the droplets spilling down her wet breasts.

 

“Ben,” Rey says, turning in his lap to see him. His eyes meet hers, and she finds a deep well of remorse.

 

“I’m not doing this the right way. I’m not…” he begins.

 

“Baby. It’s okay…”

 

“There isn’t much I’m sure of but, one thing I know for certain is I am done pretending.”

 

“You’re done pretending,” she repeats back to him.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“What does that mean? Exactly?”

 

“I filed, Rey.”

 

“You - you filed?”

 

“For divorce. I moved out the day after the party.”

 

The tepid water sends a chill up her spine.

Ben rubs heat into her arms momentarily before standing. The water sloshes as he steps out and wraps a towel around himself.

 

_Divorce._

 

 

“I couldn’t keep pretending. I couldn’t keep up the charade. I want to be done, Rey, I want to stop lying.”

 

She gulps as he towels his hair, tries to calm her heart as it slams against her ribs. She turns her head as tears fill her eyes while the tub drains.

 

The gravity of his choice and her part in it falls like an anchor into her stomach.

Standing, she takes his hand as she climbs out and he hands her a towel, her tears overflowing as she leans against his chest.

 

He wipes her tears away.

“But, hasn’t this been good?”

 

“Yes, of course! The best thing in my life, and that’s why I did this. I am _done_ holding someone else’s hand. Sitting next to someone else at dinner. Watching some other bastard put their arm around you. I want those things, Rey, I want those parts of you and I want you to have those parts of me, too. I want us to belong to each other.”

 

“Why couldn’t we just have met sooner? Why couldn’t it have been you that I married, why did I have to be married when she brought you home?”

 

“It had to happen this way. I had to marry her to find the love of my life.”

 

She looks at him, knowing he’s right while she wishes he wasn’t.  
Things could have been different but, they aren’t and she loves him, either way.

 

“We are allowed to live a life we want, Rey. And I want something different than running around, meeting in secret every couple months. I don’t want to fucking share you with him. What I _want_ and what I _should_ want are not two different things. You’re what I should want and you 're what I do want.”

 

_He wants me._

 

She tightens her towel beneath her arms and leaves the bathroom, sitting on the unmade bed. She watches as he sits beside her, pulling her legs onto his lap, tugging her closer.

 

“So, you’ve moved out and...now they all know?”

 

“I assume so, yes. I told her I was incredibly sorry to hurt her, that she didn’t deserve that and I’d always be sorry but, I had fallen in love - truly, deeply in love and I wasn’t going to walk away. She was pissed. But, I didn’t tell her who it was I in love with.”

 

Rey rubs her eyes with her hands and shakes her head.

 

“You’re getting a divorce…”

 

“I’m getting free, Rey.”

 

Her head is still in her hands when he drags them into his lap.

 

“I'd hoped you’d think this was a good thing,” he offers.

 

“It is...but, it isn’t. But, it _is_? _Ugh_ ,” she groans emphatically. “I want you. I love you so much it feels like my heart will explode. I’ve never loved anyone like you, Ben, not my parents, not  boyfriends, not my husband...But, now I am half responsible for the breakdown of my sister-in-law’s marriage. And, my own. And I’ll be ‘the other woman.’ I’ll be bad. This makes me bad.”

 

“You’re not bad. You’re my fucking goddess. The entire world could think you’re a monster. I don’t give a fuck. I know you. And I want you. The real you.”

 

Frustrated, she exhales hard and studies the ceiling.

This isn’t how she wanted to spend the weekend.

 

He tucks an errant lock of hair behind her ear as she leans into his touch.

 

“I don’t know if I'm ready.”

 

“I can wait.”

 

“I don’t know if I'm strong enough.”

 

“Then, I’ll help you. You get to choose, baby. You get to decide what you want. Not just what you _should_ want.”

 

She looks at him doubtfully, and thinks.

 

It is a desert oasis in the middle of a wide blue ocean she’s spent her life paddling through. A sandy beach where he’s landed, waving her in.

 

“I see you trying so hard. Good girl, bad girl...fuck, you can do your worst, I am crazy, fucking, _stupid_ in love with you. The _real_ girl, not the good one.”

 

“What do we do now?” she sniffles.

He sighs and kisses her.

 

“We have breakfast. Get back in bed. Watch a movie. Come let your man hold you.”

 

She nods and places her head to his chest, heart rate stabilizing.

 

_My man._

_Ben is mine._

 

Dropping her towel to the floor, she climbs into bed beside him. She curves beside his body, her ear to his chest and she listens to his heart.

 

Conflict snakes through her mind as it chases her with condemnation. 

She whispers her self-contempt out loud as the clouds in the late morning sky glide by, listening as he dismantles each barb.

Her soul wrestles itself but, Ben holds her firmly.

 

Finally, she drifts off as the cool room lulls her to sleep.

 

When she wakes he makes love to her and she tells him how she fantasizes about him when she’s alone.

How his eyes are the ones she sees, his name the one she moans.

 

He leads her to stand and bends her over, fucking her hard. His fingers grasp hard enough to mark her and when he tells her it’s intentional, she’s his and she’s so good, so real, made just right for _him_ , goddamn it, she climaxes.

 

When he comes inside her she groans with delight, and he takes turns licking her cunt before and after, claiming her inch by inch as his own until she is boneless in his arms.

 

They’re sweaty when he pulls her close in the flickering light of the television, Louis Armstrong serenading them gently as they move.

He holds her hand to his naked chest and leads her as they dance, his heartbeat a steady cadence.

 

_Give me a kiss to build a dream on_

_And my imagination will thrive upon that kiss_

_Sweetheart, I ask no more than this_

_A kiss to build a dream on_

 

She kisses him indiscreteetly in the parking lot as she’s leaving, over and over.

The blue sky and cotton clouds are too upbeat, the wind too cool and his smile too content.

 

Rey tugs his lapels as she stands on her toes to hold him before he’s gone again.

 

She has to go back to being good and, she can’t remember how or why anymore.

He waits as she climbs into her car, rolling the window down to kiss him as many times as possible before she leaves.

 

He’s still standing, peacefully smiling as she drives off, and she has no idea what she’s doing.

 

*************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 


	5. Apartment 15B

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen to [ this ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82Ff4ncMCWU)......

_“I want you. It’s as simple as that...A life without you is not enough.” - Beau Taplin_

 

Apartment 15B 

 

Rey climbs the stairs to the second floor so quickly she pauses to catch her breath.

It’s too brisk or she’d be disrobing as she walks towards his apartment.

 

Before she can raise a hand to knock, he’s swung the door open. She’s in his arms before she can register what’s happening.

 

 _“Ben,”_ she breathes into his neck.

 

The longer they’re at this, the harder the separation. Four weeks has nearly driven her mad with yearning.

He’s kissing her even better, if that’s possible, his arms more secure and his mouth more insistent as he smiles against her lips.

 

She’s landed at the threshold when she slides from Ben’s arms, reflecting his joy as he takes her hand.

 

 

“Welcome,” he says as he laces her hand in his. “Let me give you the grand tour.”

 

He winks at her and her stomach jumps.

 

“This is the living room,” he begins, tugging her inside.

 

“Hang on, let me…”

 

She stretches his arm backwards while she pauses to slip her shoes off, toeing them towards the coat closet. They land beside Ben’s with a soft thud and she slowly shrugs her purse strap off, entranced.

Her eyes are fastened on their shoes, lying in tandem beside one another.

 

_That looks right._

 

Her eyes fly to Ben’s and she drags their joined hands behind her back as she reaches to kiss him.

His happiness is palpable in his kiss.

 

“Mmmm. I missed my girl.”

 

“God, I missed you so badly.”

 

“Come on, I’ll show you around.”

 

She follows him to the kitchen, the office, his patio.

It’s sparse and clean, almost anonymous save his extra pair of outdated glasses, the ones he uses when he’s disarmingly adorable, lying beside an armchair.

 

Her fingers trail the stack of books piled beside his glasses. She curls around his thick arm as she trails him, his deep voice comforting as he introduces her to his home.

 

“And this is the master,” he says finally, standing in the doorway. “I sleep on that side,” he says, pointing to the bed.

 

“And the other side?”

 

“The other side is empty.”

 

She glances at it before her eyes land on his, and she brings his hand to her lips and kisses his knuckles.

 

“I love you,” she whispers. “Take me to bed.”

 

She only has to ask once.

 

They’re naked, wrapped in softer linens than they’ve laid in together, tumbled cotton sheets and a plush, ancient quilt, and his scent surrounds her.

This is no sanitized hotel bed.

No one sleeps here but her lover, his masculine frame cradled by these fabrics. It’s his sanctuary and he’s invited her inside.

 

She rolls onto her back as he crushes her into the firm pillows, supportive in a way no flimsy hotel pillow could be, and she runs her hands over the material beneath her as Ben takes her breasts in his mouth.

 

“Be loud for me,” he encourages.  
  
It takes her a moment to appreciate the liberty.

 

_I can be loud._

 

When his fingers find her wet pussy, she claws at his back and groans at the pleasure. She gives herself permission to enjoy noisily as he fucks his fingers inside her.

He runs his tongue up her breast to each nipple with a stiff swipe, pulling them taut one at a time. Each pass brings her higher, his mouth and fingers working her to a frenzy.

 

“Yeah. That’s it. Let me hear you. Tell me you like it.”

 

“Oh my God, Ben, yes. Again, again. _More, more,_ ” she babbles.

 

 _“Mmm, mmm, mmm,”_ she hears his urgent moans against her skin and her hips jerk to meet his fingers.

 

“Come up here,” she begs, breathless.

 

She gathers him to her chest, wrapping her legs around his hips as he leans to kiss her, his tongue licking into her mouth lovingly.

When his cock pushes home inside her, his arms are still wrapped around her waist, his mouth murmuring inside hers.

 

Even their bodies know they are home.

 

“I was made for you. I want to take care of you for the rest of your life. I will always choose you. I’ll wait for you as long as it takes. I belong to you. I love you,” he tells her as he takes her deeply.

He curls an arm under her thigh, lifting her knee to his chest and she runs her hands against his skin.

 

  
“We fit together. We found each other, Rey. We found each other.”

 

She kisses her taste from his mouth while she gasps and he fucks her hard while he tells of his devotion.

 

“Come on my cock, baby. Show me how much you belong to me.”

 

“I do. Ben, I _do_.”

 

She’s clinging to him as she soars, her lusty cries filling the bedroom with sound. He grunts when he comes a moment later, spent and heaving against her chest.

 

 

“I love you,” she whispers.

 

“I love you,” he swears.

 

 

She holds his face in her hands, kissing his swollen lips as he hovers above her, tracing his nose and cheeks with shaky fingertips as he studies her.

 

“I don’t want to leave you,” she confesses, reality breaking inside her.

 

“You’re not leaving. We’re meant for each other.”

 

 

If she thought leaving Ben at a hotel was difficult, it was only because she had no idea what leaving his home would feel like.

 

She slumps inside the seat of her cold car and stares at his building.

She sits motionless.

His cum slips inside her panties, reminding her and she leans her head to the steering wheel as her eyes slide closed.

 

\-----------------

 

The misery of leaving Ben doesn’t even compete with the pain of Thanksgiving dinner at her in-laws' without him.

 

Passing turkey and trimmings to her sister-in-law is agonizing, the conversation about her recent breakup wafting like toxic smoke above the table.

Rey’s cheeks warmed as she ladelled gravy atop her turkey and handed her husband the bowl.

 

Without Ben, she struggled to smile, his loss beside her a bone-deep anguish.

The extra chair had been removed, as if he’d never existed, although they would not stop discussing his villainy while they passed dishes.

 

“He always was an arrogant son of a bitch,” her father-in-law announced, slamming a scoop of mashed potatoes onto his plate. “I never liked him.”

 

“Daddy,” his daughter warned.

 

“I don’t care, damn it,” he announced.

 

“We’ll find you a nice young man, dear,” her mother-in-law comforted her daughter from the opposite end of the table as Rey watched them exchange a sympathetic glance.

 

“Thinks he can just go off with some slut and leave my daughter here holding the bag,” her father-in-law muttered gruffly. “Arrogant son of a bitch.”

 

_Slut._

 

The ice cubes in her glass clinked as Rey raised a glass and swallowed the cool water desperately.

 

“Can we please change the subject?” Rey’s mother-in-law interjected. “This is a family holiday, after all, and we don’t want to upset our daughter, do we?”

 

Her heart pounded so riotously, Rey worried they’d hear it’s thundering as the subject changed abruptly to more pleasant topics. Indignant fury rose as her neck and cheeks blazed.

 

_How dare they insult him!_

_He’s not here to explain! To defend himself!_

_They don’t know him, they don’t deserve to!_

 

She skewered her green beans ferociously as she seethed.

 

Shame at her silence dampened her rage and by the time dessert made its rounds, she declined.

 

The football game roared from the TV as Rey watched from the couch as her sister-in-law cleaned the dishes beside her mother.

This year, Ben would not move close as she held her breath, wouldn’t flatten against a far wall to rebuke himself.

 She’d never missed him more than now, even as she experienced this traditional family holiday, a perfect picture of what she’d always wanted.

 

 _They’re a family,_ she thought. _Just not mine._

 

Ben called her good, called her real, called her his own, and he’d have defended her.

As she stepped into her shoes at the door pulling on her jacket, she imagined Ben’s shoes beside hers at his apartment front door.

 

She almost couldn’t bear the thought of his lonely Thanksgiving, though she doubted he minded the solitude after three years of forced gatherings.

 

An hour away, he was probably sitting on the leather couch, his bare feet propped while reading a book, a mug of coffee nearby.

For all the family functions and celebratory meals in the world, Rey couldn’t imagine anywhere else she’d rather be than beside him.

 

 _Home,_ her spirit cried. _Family. Safety. Comfort._

_Ben._

 

\- - - - - - -

 

In the early morning light, carrying a bag of Christmas gifts bought at discount, Rey marched beside her husband through the cheerfully-lit shopping mall. Her hands cramped as she lugged the required purchases, her face drawn as she planned their next stop.

 

“I need some caffeine,” she whined as the fresh aroma drifted towards them. “Alright if we pop in?”

 

She staggered inside and dropped her bags at his table while he took a seat and tapped at his phone.

 

Rey wobbled sleepily to the counter and ordered.

Elsewhere, carols had pumped festively as herds of shoppers rushed the aisles but the holiday music hadn’t arrived in this coffee shop yet.

 

The song overhead filtered through her awareness.

 

_And when I'm alone with my fancies, I'll be with you_

_Weaving romances, making believe they're true_

_Oh, give me your lips for just a moment_

_And my imagination will make that moment live_

_Give me what you alone can give_

_A kiss to build a dream on_

 

Her mind jogged where it always went as she daydreamed, down a familiar path that led to Ben.

He’d danced with her to this song.

 

Last time she’d heard this song, she’d been in his arms and she had built her dreams since then on his kiss. She’d known then where she belonged.  
Maybe she’d known all along.

 

Rey was done being good, and she decided instead to start being real.

 

Reaching their table, she placed a coffee in front of her husband and planted her feet beneath herself firmly as she sat.

 

Rey took a deep breath and curled both hands around her warm paper cup.

 

“I have to tell you something.”

 

\-----------

 

The key Ben had made for her slides easily, no disposable hotel keycard needed to unlock the door.

 

She steps inside in the early light, shaking snowflakes as she stamps her feet clean and slips off her shoes beside Ben’s. She drops her keys quietly on the entry table and leaves her clutch beside his wallet.

Her coat lies beside his over a kitchen barstool, her phone left with his as she passes the office.

 

Every item she frees herself of finds its mate as it’s discarded, the pairing of her world with his effortless.

 

 

He’s sleeping soundly under a thick stack of quilts while the early dawn snow falls outside. Rey sheds layers and climbs into the big bed silently.

He stirs when she curls into him, kissing his lips awake.

 

“Rey?” he asks, startled.

 

“Hey,” she greets him while she showers his pillow-wrinkled face with affection.

 

“How are you here right now? Come here, closer.”

 

His voice is raspy with sleep as he rubs his eyes, drawing her to his chest.

 

 

“I did it.”

 

“Did what?”

 

She stares at his chest while she blinks shyly.

 

“You...did it? You left?”

 

“I told him yesterday. I did it.”

 

Ben grips her tightly as he tucks her beneath his chin and Rey glories in the comfort of his embrace.

 

“Oh my God,” he whispers above her.

 

“I wanted it off my chest so badly, it was like jumping off a diving board. I held my breath and jumped in. I had no idea I was going to tell him before I did and then...I just told him.”

Ben studies her face as they sit up and face one another, leaning against the headboard.

 

 

“I’m so fucking proud of you.”

 

“Well, you blazed the trail, I just followed.”

 

“What did you tell him?”

 

“I told him I’m truly, madly in love with Ben Solo. And I can’t live without him.”

 

“You told him it’s me?”

 

“Yeah,” she nods. “Is that...are you angry?”

 

“No, no,” he shakes his head. “It was your call.”

 

“I couldn’t stand the way they talked about you at Thanksgiving, baby, and I just sat there and let them do it. I listened to them crucify you and my blood pressure went through the roof, but I didn’t say anything. And you’ve been so brave. So patient and kind and I couldn’t stand it.”

 

He brushes her hair off her neck as she rests her head on his shoulder.

 

“The truth is important for you and I want to be truthful, too. I didn’t want to come to you with secrets. Once I started, it all came tumbling out. You were honest, so I was honest, too.”

Ben considers her as his fingers trace her face.

 

 

“In the end, I’d rather be your real girl than anything they want me to be.”

 

“And how did he take it?”

 

“He was mad. He had a lot to say. A lot of ugly names to call me.”

 

She hangs her head momentarily as the insults roll through her head.

 

“They’re not true, Rey. The things that he called you, they’re not true.”

 

She sighs as she recalls the vitriol he’d spewed at the coffee shop, the heated tone he’d used to spit profanities at her. His anger trailed them to the car, their house and through the rooms as he yelled and demanded for hours.

 

When his rage cooled to disgust, Rey began filling suitcases and packed her car, waiting only for daybreak to leave the rest behind.

 

“I couldn’t maintain the good girl persona anymore.”

 

He shakes his head as Rey laces her hand with his and he places them over his heart.

 

“I am so in love with you. And so amazed by you. You did it.”

 

“I knew where I belonged. I realized, if I am loved by a man like you, I must be worthy of happiness, even if I have to fight for it.”

 

Ben sighs and brings her hand to his lips.

 

“You do, Rey. And I want to spend every moment making sure you are happy and loved.”

 

She snuggles under the covers further.

 

“Can we go back to sleep? So tired.”

 

“Yeah, baby. Come here.”

 

Tucked beside him, the snow-heavy clouds block the sun as she falls asleep, and she doesn’t have need of dreams.

 

\-------------

 

_Bacon._

 

She stretches as she rolls over and immediately knows whose bed she’s in. The smell of sizzling bacon fills the air as her stomach growls and she smiles when she opens her eyes.

 

Ben’s pillow is beside her head, where it’s meant to be, an indent where he’d lain.

 

When she stumbles into his kitchen, his sleeves are rolled to his elbows and his eyes behind his glasses are kind when he leans to kiss her.

She steals a bite of bacon and wraps her arms around his waist.

 

She’s been awake four minutes and it’s already the best breakfast of her life.

 

 

“What do you want to do today?” she asks as she curls into a chair beside him.

 

“Fuck, you look so cute.”

 

“Oh, this old thing?” she teases. She’s swimming in his button-down as she crunches toast.

 

“Tease.”

 

“I want to hang all over you.”

 

“Deal. What else? Can I...can I take you out on a date?”

 

A wide smile spreads over her face.

 

“Ben Solo. Did you just ask me out on a date?”

 

“Sure did. A real date with my real, beautiful girl.”

 

“I’d love to.”  
  
She crawls into his lap because two feet is a distance too far for separation.

 

“And can we pick out a Christmas tree for your apartment?”

 

“ _My_ apartment?”

 

“Yeah, I mean...I didn’t want to assume. We didn’t exactly talk about what would happen if I just showed up here one morning…”

 

“You’re not going anywhere without me. From now on. I _want_ you to assume,” he murmurs into her neck.

She winds her arms around him as he lifts her and carries her back to bed. “I want you naked, too.”

 

His mouth is on hers as he unbuttons his shirt around her frame, and Rey lets him take his time.

His leaves the shirt but opens it completely, surveying her naked body inside his clothes.

 

“In my bed, just like this. In my clothes. _Fuck_ , baby, it’s like I wished you to life.”

 

She moans aloud as he kisses his way from her neck to her stomach, stopping to suck her breasts into his mouth, licking a swirl around each nipple.

 

“Let me make you feel good.”

 

He’s magical, licking into her mouth, pulling her thighs over his shoulders as he murmurs compliments at her clit.

 

“So pretty. So sweet. You taste so good.”

 

“Ben,” she whispers, gazing at the ceiling while he licks and sucks at her wet pussy till she’s struggling to think straight.

 

He wipes his mouth as he prowls towards her, kissing her taste into her mouth.

 

“We taste so right together,” he says.

 

“I want to give you everything,” she says. “I want to be yours.”

 

“You are, Rey. You’re mine and I’m yours.”

 

It’s not the first time he’s fucked her, not even the first time in this bed, but when they come together it’s like a rainbow, arcing color and light over every storm below.

There are still clouds, but there is also the promise of such beauty.

 

She shatters under him as it snows outside and when his body leaves hers she knows it won’t be for long.

 

When he asks her to plan their future with him over linguine that night, her discarded shoe lies beneath the table atop his. Her bare foot trails his shin as she accepts a bite of his pasta.

 

Anywhere they want, as long as they’re together.

After all, their apartment is a way-station, a temporary stop-over on the journey of their lives. Their next home will be one they choose together, and there will be two keys.

 

 

  
  
The End  
  
*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to my darling man, my #1 cheerleader who prompted me.  
> thank you to my sweet friends @newerconstellations and @numinex919 whose beta work made this story so much better.  
> thank you to JJ and Rian for making me a Reylo the moment Ben said "yes, I am."  
> thank you to TWD, Reyl-Hoes, Cocks and Pizza and Smutmamas, who keep me inspired and ROFLing.  
> thank you to my sweet @rileybabe for always spoiling me with gorgeous edits.  
> thank you to Keurig, Diet Coke, International Delights Italian Sweet Creme creamer, Mac, Disney and Adam Driver's genetic lineage.
> 
> thank you to YOU, yes YOU for being my readers and commenters because let's be honest, without YOU, writers would keep their stories locked in their heads until we imploded. Your reception and reciprocation are everything.  
> thank YOU for letting me tell a controversial story. It's the story I wanted to tell - the contrary, challenging, spicy one - and I appreciate the space and the companions on this journey.
> 
>  
> 
> love, love, love and redemption all around,  
> Berry  
> 

**Author's Note:**

> This was my husband's prompt.  
> It is filthy.
> 
> And this is me, writing a Reylo-Married-to-Other-People-and-Cheating-Together-Because-It's-True-Love Fic...
> 
>  


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